The Gatekeepers

 

Notice, I left the gate open.

I was rewriting old novels, editing. I don’t know if they’re real novels or practice ones, so far, they haven’t caught an agent's attention. Some say it’s harder to get an agent than it is to write the book in the first place, or even to get a publisher. But folks, if you are a writer, remember most of the books that make it have been rejected numerous times, even Harry Potter. Can you imagine those agents who rejected Harry Potter crying in their soup nightly because they missed it? Fifteen percent of a zillion bucks is what? Probably a billion.

About 20 years ago, when we lived in California, I took a workshop from a Screenplay agent in LA. At the time, my daughter and I were toying with a script. That agent, with her young daughter standing beside her the entire talk, said that agents invite a bunch of creative writing students to go through the slush pile. (Their stack of unsolicited manuscripts). First, they set them all in a room, throw in a pizza and packet of rejection slips, and lock the door.

That’s it.

I suspect it’s about the same with books. Maybe it has changed since publishers have more competition now that many authors are self-publishing their books and Indie publishers have best-sellers. I have the problem of thinking that few people want to spend the money on books with price tags publishers demand, but readers of Harry Potter must have forked out that money when the Harry Potter books were first released. And hey, who doesn’t want to believe in magic?

The success of JK Rowling and Harry Potter are not to be tampered with.

I don’t know why I began this blog as I did. I guess I am following my own advice to my grandson. Just begin writing, I told him, and see where it takes you.

He came up with a brilliant idea but doesn’t know how to implement it. He had compared what he calls “Culture,” meaning the youth of today, which includes artists, furies, Trans, and computer game creators, with religion. He says both wanted to give the people hope, and while religion says you can have it, you can find God, peace, salvation, all of those, he says Culture wants the same, but they believe it’s impossible.

That was so sad, a defeatist attitude, to want to express yourself only to believe you will never be successful at it.

That is the legacy we have given our young people.

He says he wants to give people HOPE.

That’s what I want too.

When I was editing those novels, and at home discussing theme, plot, the deciding moment, and the old saying that without conflict you have no story, I thought, I need to write a new book maybe it will hit the refresh button on my brain.

What if I, instead of following the convention that you must put your protagonist through hell, write a book where things work out? Yeah, yeah, I know, one must struggle first before events work out. But isn’t hope what we want? Don’t we want to believe that good is waiting for us—that life will get better?  And what about attitude and the belief that much is accomplished with a glad heart? Did we lose sight of those?

Is that boring? Think of the book Chicken Soup for the Soul. It stayed on the Best Seller List for 4 years.  What about Robert Fulghum's book, Everything I Know I Learned in Kindergarten which stayed on the New York Times Best Seller list for two years. And I loved the recent book Theo of Golden, basically uplifting—not that people didn’t have troubles, or were sad, but it was enchanting. You think people don’t want good news?

Every time I open my computer, it spits something depressing at me.  I’m tired of the Government's rabble. I’m tired bitching, snipping, and arguing. I want something that shows the goodness in people.

Mindset Shift

 

Dear writer,

 

I'm leaning on you today.

 

Readers, you're welcome too.  

 

Everybody writes, like everybody walks (you know there are some exceptions). You love it or hate it. You rush to write or avoid it as though you are about to sit next to that person at the dinner table who will tell you her life story—the bad parts—then tell you again. 

 

I've been reading a lot this past week. Steven King says, "If you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write." So it's a balancing act. Should I be reading or writing?

 

Right now, I'm enjoying reading more than writing. The authors are better. I feel inept. I have a book in mind, but I fear the process. I know the time involved. I know how hard it is to get a publisher. I know how few will read it. 

 

I'm turning to you guys asking, "Do you ever feel this way?"

 

For years I wrote for fun. I wrote because it was my self-expression. I wrote for nothing in return. I figured I was honing my craft.

 

I believed it was a creative outlet and that everyone ought to have one.

 

I believed that morning pages were a way to pour out the crap (that nobody would see) and allow the good to come out. I thought that if more people wrote their "Morning pages," putting a period at the end of their whine, uh I mean sentence, it would quiet the mind and let the good stuff through.

 

I believed writing was a therapeutic endeavor.

 

I loved it.

 

What happened?

 

I was expecting to receive some reward, I wanted my writing to pay. Instead, I'm feeling the pressure.

 

This morning I was reminded once again of Anne Lamott's writing advice, "Write Shitty First Drafts."

 

"Everybody has them."

 

Well, that takes the pressure off.

 

Hemingway said, "Write drunk. Edit sober." You don't have to get drunk; you get the idea. Write with abandon, then pull in the reins, and clean it up. 

 

I began this blog yesterday. Today, I followed Steven Pressfield's advice. He referred to the Lady of Fashion, Coco Chanel's advice on fashion. "On your way out the door," she said, "look in the mirror. Then take one thing off."

 

Steven Pressfield says Chanel's advice applies to writers. Pressfield, once a screenwriter, said his mentor's advice was to take 10% out of his script, then take 10 off that.

 

Soon I'll be down to zero.

 

However, I'm going for that shitty first draft and a piece of writing advice that arrived in my mailbox this morning: "Save editing for the end."

 

 

"Writing and editing are two separate processes,” wrote Shawn & R.J. from Book Marketing Tools, "so guard them fiercely! When you start editing during your writing process, everything grinds to a halt. Stay mindful, keep the processes separate, and you'll see your mindset shift."

 

Carry on, dear one,

 

Jo

 

Over a decade ago in the foothills of the Himalayas, before much about mindset unfolded, Brad Stulberg asked a Nepali Sherpa named Indra about the prayer flags that were all over. “It’s simple,” he told me. “When you are feeling a strong emotion, you plant a flag. Since the beginning of time, my culture believes the wind will spread that energy and the universe will receive it.”

 

Drink water--see https://www.wishonwhitehorses.com 

 

And visit Jo's Store,  https://jos-storebooksandcoffee.com 

 

 

 

 

 

World's Best Cover Letter

Wanted: Young, skinny, wiry fellows not over eighteen. Must be expert riders, willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred.

--Pony Express ad

How about that for marketing?

Are you getting tired of following someone else’s template?  Tired of hearing you need a niche? Tired of saying you must have a platform?  Oh yes, and when Querying follow this format, for we don’t want anything that deviates from our prescribed system. And enter your work on this form otherwise, we won’t look at it.  Think out of the box, though. Knock our socks off. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I’ve been around for awhile, long enough to know who Max Perkins was, an editor who really helped hone his writers. How did I know him? I don’t  know, when I was enamored with Random House I guess. (Perkins was the editor at Random House and of geniuses such as Fitzgerald, Hemingway, and Wolfe.) Somewhere I heard that Fitzgerald—don‘t hold me to this, I may have the wrong author—couldn’t spell worth a darn. And it is reassuring to know how long he and Perkins spent trying to agree on a title for The Great Gatsby.

It may help you to know that a writer sent Marjorie Kinnan Rawling's book, The Yearling, winner of the Pulitzer Prize in 1938, to an agent and it was rejected.

In line with Querying, Marketing, Applying for jobs, this Cover Letter is too good not to pass around. 

By #Mary Shannon 

#Honest Cover Letter

Dear Hiring Manager,

I am writing to you because I really, really need a fucking job and this particular position with your company/organization, at this juncture in my life, seems good enough.

Your company/organization is appealing to me only because of its potential to provide me a salary, and a matching 401(k) program if I’m lucky. I am passionate about bullshitting my skills, and have done so in countless cover letters such as this one, and I hope to utilize this passion to serve your company/organization’s benefit. 

I may add a line or two here directly from your mission statement, to show I’ve done my research!

This position is listed as entry-level and requires 3 years of experience in addition to a Bachelor’s degree, and a Master’s degree is preferred. That’s pretty fucked up, so this is where I’ll try to embellish my one year of international non-profit experience to make it seem commensurate with additional experience in the field. Insert quantified outcomes here! I am confident I can translate this background to effectively [verbatim buzz-phrase from job posting] and [verbatim buzz-phrase from job posting].

I swear on my mom’s life that I was a really good student at my University (i.e. please don’t make me prove it by having to provide transcripts) and this part is where I’ll tell you about all the accomplishments I achieved when I was a student, hoping that you’ll deem them worthy of consideration as experience, and that you’re even still reading this letter. Now I’ll mention my undergraduate involvement with [student organization] and [student organization], student organizations dedicated to [something even remotely related to what your company/organization does], and use it as an example of literally any type of skill set you could possibly require. By the way, if you haven’t noticed yet, I have fucking great verbal and written communication skills, and I will say so directly here.

I understand you’re likely reading hundreds of similar cover letters from other young twenty-somethings who did everything they were told and did well in school and got their degrees and are now also facing the constant feeling of impending doom that is unemployment… but I can promise you that I’m different and unique and exactly what you need! I look forward to learning more about this opportunity as an employee with your company/organization, a company/organization with which my career goals and personal values only moderately align. I also look forward to any future occasion during which I can convince you to hire me. If I haven’t been abundantly clear, I’m very broke and need this. You can contact me at [email] or [phone number] at almost any time of any day because I’m usually not doing much aside from applying for other jobs, watching Netflix, and having panic attacks about my future. In the meantime, thank you for your consideration!

Sincerely,

Mary Shannon