“Artists are people who are not at all interested in the facts—only in the truth. You get the facts from outside. The truth you get from inside.” --Ursula K. LeGuin

Thursday, June 1, 2023

How to Start a Blog When You're Broke and Clueless


I heard that the lions at the San Diego Zoo are so prolific that Veterinarians have put IUDs in the lionesses. 


I heard that Australia is run over with rabbits…one rabbit, two rabbits, three, four thousand–that would keep some undergrad student busy. 


This blog has nothing to do with lions or rabbits, the above is just a couple of facts that stuck in my brain, and I dislodged them onto this page. 


And I read this:


Blog Rule Number One: Begin with an attention-getter.  

I ran across mistakes I've been making blogging, not just typos and redundancies; those happen, I can't help myself, but suggestions from those super-duper bloggers who say they make six-figures blogging. 


Is that money or doodles? 


Number Two: Post on Schedule, Not Just When You Feel Like It. 

I pay attention to blogging gurus only when Ilike what they say, for who wants to sound like everybody else? However, those smart bloggers have large audiences and big bucks. (I have a super audience, not big numbers, and no bucks, but my readers are choice.) 


Regarding income, it's more like when I decided to sell at the Fair; I sold one book for $10.00 and bought one for $20. 


I had fun, though, mainly visiting with other writers. 


Regarding a schedule, I have circled around Tuesdays, although I have been throwing content on my sites whenever I feel like it; now, I will try to make Tuesdays my post-day.


I want you guys to count on me. 


Three, Pay Attention to SEOs. 

It took me a while to know what a SEO was, and I still know little, but the gist is that keywords are what Google's bot notices to rank you.  SEO = Search Engine Optimation.


Four: Scatter Keywords throughout your post: 

Keywords? That's another thing I paid little attention to. Who are we writing for, readers or Google? However, if people don't find you, they won't read you. A simple fact. 


Five, Write a Good Headline. 

That's like "Knock My Socks Off," that every contest MC tells their participants, and it's what every agent will tell you, like, Wow, I was trying to sound stupid.


And use a word from your title in your first paragraph. (That would be hard in today's post, wouldn't it?) 


I'm not saying I will only post once a week, but I will try to hit Tuesdays.


I don't like to be manipulated, and I figure neither do you. So, I will do whatever I damn well please, and so will you. (Do I have an attitude or what? But then, I encourage that in myself and in you.) 


Six: Write Short Paragraphs. 

Okay, I know, in school we were taught to develop our paragraphs,but that was before blogging and texting hit the scene. Wewere used to slogging through pedantic writing with no contractions and boring content. Now, it's "Get with it. Say what you want and shut up. " People are busy, and they read fast. We want to make it easy for them. 


Seven: Use Contractions. 

I have to lscratch my head at the Royal Caribbean monitors who were adamantly oppose the use of contractions, in their email writers.  I guess they think they were writing for a scientific journal. But emails and blogging are informal; we should write like we talk. 


Eight: Write Blogs of 1,000 to 2,000 Words.   

Oh, sure. And yet Seth Godin blogs daily and writes whatever in the heck he wants, sometimes only a sentence or two, and he sweeps up 600,000 readers per month. He writes about marketing and living well. Someone online said that Seth's Blog is popular because it's "weird."


You decide.


My decisions is that he knows what he is talking about.


Nine: Include links to Other Content on Your Site.  

We do want to make our website easy to use. 


Ten: Publish Consistently. 

I try. 


I could have titled this post Blogging and IUD’s, for I remember the comedian Phyllis Diller said as she drove down her street, her IUD opened garage doors.

He son said she died with a smile on her face.